I will try not to write many posts about massacres or violent acts, because if I were to write a piece for every one that crosses my radar, virtually my entire blog would be about terrorism. (It is sad that I can make that observation.) But this post is not really about bombings or shootings, although the latest attack, aimed at nine people in Louisiana, is a factor in my decision on today’s topic. I want to write about the mindset that causes actions like this, and one way to respond to an often violent and selfish society.
I’m tired of it. I’m tired of hearing that some people were shot in a movie theater; that parents leave their small children in hot cars, where they could die of being overheated; that somebody else shot or bombed total strangers because they felt their ideology compelled them. Last week, I got to hold a friend’s new adopted child. His new mother explained that he needs to be held often to compensate for severe emotional neglect before coming to their family. He also can’t sit up or walk on his own: although his development was normal at first, he is physically and mentally disabled for life because his father shook him when he was a few months old.
Why do people kill other people whom they’ve never even met before? Or abandon their children in the heat, thinking they will only be gone for a few minutes and the kids will be fine? Or treat roughly something as fragile as a baby?
It’s because they don’t care. Whether their behavior is a pattern, or it’s a blip in an otherwise decent person–when you harm someone else, it’s because you are too busy thinking about yourself for that other person’s welfare to mean much to you.
You know that you should never, ever, ever, under any circumstances shake or hit an infant, but because the kid was screaming and you have to get to work and your brain is a confused frazzle and you’re overheated and not having a good morning, you weren’t thinking. You didn’t stop to consider the consequences: you were just upset. Or perhaps you don’t know, because you never bothered to learn how to raise this child of yours. Maybe your favorite show was on, and your TV doesn’t have a rewind feature, and the baby wouldn’t stop crying. You thought that trying to intimidate him into shutting up would be a good way to make him stop doing what babies do to communicate their needs.
Those people in church were so nice to you, and for a while you even considered letting them live. They hadn’t done anything to you personally. Problem was, they were blacks, and blacks are the reason that crime and rape exists. All black men do is rape white women. So as much as you wanted to, you couldn’t let these people go. They were part of the problem. You had to shoot them.
You only had to run in the store for a few minutes. The temperature outside is in the 70’s; that wasn’t bad. You didn’t know the car could get hot inside so fast. You didn’t know how much more easily toddlers can die of heat than adults or older children, and getting your child out of the car and through the store without a tantrum and then back into the car wasn’t your thing that day. You didn’t think a little bit of sun would be a big deal.
I probably won’t change the mind of someone like Dylann Roof or Dzhokhar Tsarnaev or even abusive parents, but this garbage on the news every day is sickening. Stop using your beliefs or your convenience as an excuse. You do not have the right to hurt others because you feel your immediate needs or feelings are above theirs. You’re too myopic to see past what you want, right now, to care about anything else. How is it possible for anyone to be so in their little bubble, as you are? It’s as if you think you’re the only one who exists and everyone else is an invention of your brain. You aren’t feeling the pain of the ones you harm, so therefore, it doesn’t matter.
When someone dies, that person is dead. Whether the cause of death was heat, or a bullet, or a bomb—or hit by your car because you weren’t looking—that’s it. The one you killed is gone. S/he will never feel happiness again; will never hang out with friends or children or parents again; will never even be conscious of his or her former existence again. S/he has no more thought or feeling or opinion or life than your bedpost does. You must understand that this person is not coming back and there is not a thing you can do to change the fact that s/he no longer exists because of you.
For the rest of you, try to remember all the suffering that goes on: someone died; someone’s parents are grieving; people lost their legs in a bombing. As enraptured as you are right now with your Starbucks latte, there are people who know nothing of the joy of your latte and are dealing with loss or poverty or something else that you may not even be able to imagine. You can’t save even close to everyone from starvation, shooting, and so on—maybe you can’t even save anyone. But recall that each person’s life is difficult in some way. Instead of existing in your bubble, spend some time every day making life easier for somebody, instead of harder for anyone. You may join the Peace Corps, or you might not: it’s your life to live and society has many roles to fill. Make some coffee for your partner. Bring your neighbor cookies. Have compassion and see outside of your worldview, through another’s perspective. And before you do something impulsive or questionable, ask yourself how someone else will be affected.
It’s unbelievably frustrating to turn on the television and hear about an attack on a school, animal cruelty, domestic abuse, and yet another shooting. How can people be so stupid? But you aren’t powerless. Add a little happiness to the negativity.
I originally was going to spend the whole post raging about idiots who feel entitled to ruin other people’s lives, but decided to end on a positive note. (Rage is okay, too. We should be angry that these things happen; it motivates us to stop them.) And I’m accountable as much as anyone else. Every single person has a responsibility not just to avoid committing terrible acts, but to lighten the bleakness of our short lives. Try and do that.
Thanks for reading. Leave your thoughts below, and please share!
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